|
|
| (57 intermediate revisions by 3 users not shown) |
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| Because the game was created in 1991, there is no way that Kirby's mother could have anticipated the way in which her maiden name, and the name she gave her son, would be stolen by Nintendo a mere three years after his birth. This terrible deed would result in the mental anguish of a young man who would fight the name for years- until his self-esteem rose to the point at which he could admit to himself that pink did not, in fact, HAVE to be a pansy color. For these things, Nintendo Shall be blamed and Melissa Kernan shall be forgiven. However, in the years since Kirby's birth, it HAS been proven that Melissa named him knowing full well that Kirby was also the name of a popular brand of vacuum cleaner. Since this has failed to amuse only a handful of adults who have come into his life, she shall be condemned to bear a similarly connected name in her next life. Maybe it will be Kenmore, or Swiffer. Kirby would like that.
| |
|
| |
|
| =FAMILY=
| |
|
| |
| Family is one of the absolute most important things in Kirby's life. They can all be kind of weird, but he loves them dearly.
| |
|
| |
|
| |
| <big><big>Melissa Kernan (The Mom)</big></big>
| |
|
| |
| Kirby's Mom, Melissa, holds everything together. She is the best mom in the world and he'll fight you if you say anything different. Before she got stuck with Kirby’s older sister, she taught kindergarten in Tennessee and Nebraska. Now she works for a claims verifying company called Verus. What she does involves a long complicated explanation that doesn’t really get you anywhere all that exciting. She also loves scrapbooking, cooking, and wrapping Christmas presents. They're so beautiful, her family often feels bad opening them on Christmas morning.
| |
|
| |
| <big><big>Steve Kernan (The Dad)</big></big>
| |
|
| |
| Kirby’s Dad, Steve, is an ex-marine who now works as VP of Business Development for RX Marketing, a pharmaceutical company (the whole thing about long complicated explanations that don’t really get you anywhere? Yeah it applies here too). He is essentially a sixteen year old guy who grew up just enough to work in the business world. He is one of the best people Kirby knows and, if you have to be stuck in a car driving all over New England visiting colleges, he’s the most entertaining person to do it with.
| |
|
| |
| <big><big>Molly Kernan (The Sister)</big></big>
| |
|
| |
| Kirby’s sister Molly is a pretty cool kid. She graduated from the State University of New York, Purchase campus (SUNY’s version of an arts school) in spring of 2007. While there, she earned a degree in vocal performance from their extremely competitive and award-winning opera program, and hopes to pursue some kind of a performance career when she moves to Manhattan next year. In the meantime she is working for Melissa, saving up so she’ll be able to afford a miniature palace when she moves to the city.
| |
|
| |
| <big><big>Mackenzie Kernan</big></big>
| |
|
| |
| Last but not least, Kirby’s younger brother Mackenzie. He’s fourteen. For anyone who’s ever had a sibling that age, a further explanation shouldn’t be needed. No, in truth, he’s an awesome kid, and its likely Kirby was worse at that age. Mack started high school in the fall of 2007, and doesn’t really know what to think of it. He’s really into fine arts stuff, and thinks he’s going to want to study film someday. For reason’s we’ll discuss when describing Kirby’s own education, Hunterdon Central, the high school mack attends, is a great place for a person like him. He’s going to do awesome stuff.
| |
