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| [[Image:Meeeeeeeeeee.jpg]] [[Image:Notme.jpg]]
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| Because the game was created in 1991, there is no way that Kirby's mother could have anticipated the way in which her maiden name, and the name she gave her son, would be stolen by Nintendo a mere three years after his birth. This terrible deed would result in the mental anguish of a young man who would fight the name for years- until his self-esteem rose to the point at which he could admit to himself that pink did not, in fact, HAVE to be a pansy color. For these things, Nintendo Shall be blamed and Melissa Kernan shall be forgiven. However, in the years since Kirby's birth, it HAS been proven that Melissa named him knowing full well that [http://www.kirby.com Kirby] was also the name of a popular brand of vacuum cleaner. Since this has failed to amuse only a handful of adults who have come into his life, she shall be condemned to bear a similarly connected name in her next life. Maybe it will be Kenmore, or Swiffer. Kirby would like that.
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| Kirby was born on September 6th, 1989, in [http://www.ci.omaha.ne.us/ Omaha, Nebraska]. His family moved a lot when he was little, but by the time he was five they had settled in [http://www.flemington-nj.com/ Flemington, New Jersey]. Flemington, if you weren't aware, and you probabaly weren't, is the town where the man who [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lindbergh_kidnapping kidnapped and murdered Charles Lindberg's] son was put on trial. Thats kind of how Flemington justifies its existence. Because nothing else of any importance has EVER happened there. Kirby is now 18, and is attending Dickinson College
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| =FAMILY=
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| Family is one of the absolute most important things in Kirby's life. They can all be kind of weird, but he loves them dearly.
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| <big><big>Melissa Kernan (The Mom)</big></big>
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| [[Image:Mom.jpg]]
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| Kirby's Mom, Melissa, holds everything together. She is the best mom in the world and he'll fight you if you say anything different. Before she got stuck with Kirby’s older sister, she taught kindergarten in Tennessee and Nebraska. Now she works for a claims verifying company called [http://www.verusllc.com Verus]. What she does involves a long complicated explanation that doesn’t really get you anywhere all that exciting. She also loves scrapbooking, cooking, and wrapping Christmas presents. They're so beautiful, her family often feels bad opening them on Christmas morning.
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| <big><big>Steve Kernan (The Dad)</big></big>
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| [[Image:Dad.jpg]]
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| Kirby’s Dad, Steve, is an ex-marine who now works as VP of Business Development for [http://www.marketrx.com MarketRX], a pharmaceutical company (the whole thing about long complicated explanations that don’t really get you anywhere? Yeah it applies here too). He is essentially a sixteen year old guy who grew up just enough to work in the business world. He is one of the best people Kirby knows and, if you have to be stuck in a car driving all over New England visiting colleges, he’s the most entertaining person to do it with.
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| <big><big>Molly Kernan (The Sister)</big></big>
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| [[Image:Molly.jpg]]
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| Kirby’s sister Molly is a pretty cool kid. She graduated from the [http://www.purchase.edu State University of New York, Purchase campus] (SUNY’s version of an arts school) in spring of 2007. While there, she earned a degree in vocal performance from their extremely competitive and award-winning opera program, and hopes to pursue some kind of a performance career when she moves to Manhattan next year. In the meantime she is working for Melissa, saving up so she’ll be able to afford a miniature palace when she moves to the city.
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| <big><big>Mackenzie Kernan</big></big>
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| [[Image:Mack.jpg]]
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| Last but not least, Kirby’s younger brother Mackenzie. He’s fourteen. For anyone who’s ever had a sibling that age, a further explanation shouldn’t be needed. No, in truth, he’s an awesome kid, and its likely Kirby was worse at that age. Mack started high school in the fall of 2007, and doesn’t really know what to think of it. He’s really into fine arts stuff, and thinks he’s going to want to study film someday. For reason’s we’ll discuss when describing Kirby’s own education, Hunterdon Central, the high school Mack attends, is a great place for a person like him. He’s going to do awesome stuff.
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| =FAMILY HISTORY=
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| Both branches of Kirby’s family are predominantly Irish in origin. They come from the [http://www.houseofnames.com/xq/asp.c/qx/kiernan-coat-arms.htm Kiernan] clans and the *gasp* [http://www.houseofnames.com/fc.asp?sId=&s=Kirby Kirby] clans. Not much is known any longer as to how the Kirby branch of the family came to live in America, only that it was around the early 1800’s. The Kiernan brothers (four of them) came to the U.S. during the Great Potato Famine in Ireland. When they came through Ellis Island, some arrogant customs clerk who was probably having a horrendous day misspelled their last name, and the Kernan’s life in America began. All but one of the brothers stayed in the East, and the one who didn’t disappeared in Cleveland and no one ever saw him again. Kirby’s Father’s Grandfather, Elmer Kernan, served in WWI, and his son, Elmer Kernan Jr., served in WWII, along with Kirby’s other Grandfather, Hartsell Ned Kirby (the image below is a passenger list from the ship Hartsell Kirby sailed on when his unit was transferred to France in WWII). After the War, both got married and began the epic journey that culminated in Kirby’s birth.
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| [[Image:Ancestrything.jpg|thumb|passenger list from the 517th airborne's transport to France]]
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| =EDUCATIONAL HISTORY=
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| <big><big>Jack and Jill Preschool</big></big>
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| Kirby's educational career began at Jack and Jill Preschool in Yuba City, California. Kirby remembers very little from these times, except for one specific event that may or may not have damaged him for the rest of his life. Jack and Jill preschool was a high class institution that provided tricycles and ONE two wheeler for kids to play with at play time. But when two kids, say Kirby and another child named Charlie Parker, were the only two that could ride a two wheeler, both wanted to show off for the pre-school girls, and neither had yet mastered the concept of sharing- you get the idea. Long story short, there was an epic battle during play time one day that resulted in Kirby’s first bloody nose and an eternity spent in the quiet corner. The issue was never really resolved and eventually the teachers had to make a calendar just for Kirby and Charlie that informed them as to whether or not it was their day for the bicycle.
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| <big><big>Lincrest ELementary School</big></big>
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| [[Image:Lincrest.jpg]]
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| After Jack and Jill, Kirby followed in Molly’s footsteps and began to attend [http://www.ycusd.k12.ca.us/LC/ Lincrest Elementary School], also in California. This was his first encounter with the notoriously horrendous public school system of California. Lincrest was the third elementary school that Molly had attended, because the other schools were over crowded with the children of legal and illegal immigrants. Kirby attended the first half of kindergarten here, and his most vivid memories of the place are of the library (a trailer), and playing on the playground dressed as a Native American (it was Halloween).
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| <big><big>Francis A. Desmares</big></big>
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| [[Image:Desmares.jpg]]
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| Halfway through kindergarten, Kirby's family made the big move from California to New Jersey, where Molly and he began to attend Francis A. Desmares Elementary School. This is where Kirby would finish his elementary school career, and he has far too many memories of this place to pick a best or worst. He will note, that, in the fall of 2007, Desmares alumni all over the world mourned the passing of the most fantastic wooden playground ever built.
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| <big><big>Reading-Fleming Middle School</big></big>
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| [[Image:RFMS.jpg]]
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| For grades 6-8, his middle school years, Kirby attended [http://www.frsd.k12.nj.us/rfms/ RFMS], an institution which no longer exists, and, sadly, is really only remembered because after Kirby had “graduated” from the 8th grade, ten 6th graders in the following year managed to infect each other with syphilis. Ever seen the Lifetime movie, She’s too Young? Yeah, it was loosely based on RFMS.
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| <big><big>Hunterdon Central Regional High School</big></big>
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| [[Image:Hunterdon central.jpg]]
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| Because it has consistently been ranked in the top five richest counties in America, Hunterdon County has been able to pump serious amounts of money into its school system. The main result of those efforts is [http://www.hcrhs.k12.nj.us/ Hunterdon Central Regional High School]. A school whose student body has exceeded three thousand for the last four years and continues to grow, Central has gained a reputation for being a high school that is almost like a small college. This is mainly because of its size, both in terms of student body and amount of courses offered. It is more than possible to have nearly completed all classes necessary for graduation by junior year, leaving most seniors free to take a year of whatever they want. Many choose to focus on the arts department, which offers a huge amount of courses, while, others, like Kirby, fill the year with social studies electives. Kirby had an absolutely awesome time here and, while he would never go to school there again, still misses it.
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| <big><big>Dickinson College</big></big>
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| [[Image:Dickinsondsfg.jpg]]
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| The [http://www.dickinson.edu/ place where Kirby currently goes to school!!!] He began classes in the fall of 2007 and loves it! He is thinking about studying abroad in Bologna, Italy, during his junior year, and he thinks he wants to major in Political Science. But we’ll see.
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| =FRIENDS=
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| <big><big>Friends From Home</big></big>
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| [[Image:Friendsfriendsfriends.jpg]] [[Image:Meandjame.jpg]]
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| Kirby doesn’t know what he would do without his friends. Kirby met most of his closest friends in high school during his senior year of high school. They’re all awesome kids and he has no idea what he’d do without them. They are all currently missing each other a ton and fall pause is going to be an epic reunion. Kirby’s other best friends mostly come from his church’s youth group. After four years of hanging out with the same group of seven or eight kids at church, Kirby’s youth group is still really close. His best friend from home is Jameson Harper. There is not a better guy to talk to, play soccer with, or play guitar with in the entire world.
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| <big><big>Friends From Dickinson</big></big>
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| [[Image:Dickinsonfriends!!.jpg]] [[Image:Meandabby.jpg]]
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| Kirby has only gone to school here for a few weeks, but already has found some awesome kids in his dorm and in his classes to hang out with.
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| =INTERESTS=
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| <big><big>Volleyball</big></big>
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| During Kirby's sophmore year of high school, the head volleyball coach at Hunterdon Central talked him into trying out for the [http://central.hcrhs.k12.nj.us/athletics/ team]. It may have been because of his height. It may also have been because of Kirby being such a stud. Either way, Kirby played for his high school team for the next three years. In the summers, Kirby also played with his friends from the team in [http://www.greatamericanvolleyball.com/ beach tournaments] on the Jersey Shore. Kirby now plays several times a week with [http://alpha.dickinson.edu/storg/volleyball/ Dickinson’s Men’s Club Volleyball Team].
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| [[Image:HCVball-LOGO.jpg]]
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| <big><big>Guitar/Music</big></big>
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| Kirby started playing guitar about five years ago and loves it. He’s not that good, but he plays a lot and it is one of the most relaxing things he has ever done ([http://www.rickalexander.com/ClassAxe/79GibsonES347.jpg this is his favorite of his guitars]). His favorite guitarists include James Taylor and Led Zeppelin’s Jimmy Page Another way Kirby likes to relax is just by listening to music. He likes almost every kind of music except rap and people who sound like they’re whining when they sing. He kind of goes through phases with what he likes, but right now two of his favorite bands are the folk/punk act [http://www.againstme.net Against Me!]and the ska band [http://www.streetlightmanifesto.com/ Streetlight Manifesto].
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| [[Image:Againstme.jpg]]
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| <big><big>Cricket</big></big>
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| Before he came to Dickinson, Kirby had never played [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricket Cricket] before. But during the activities fair, it looked interesting and the guys at the table said that you didn’t have to have any experience. So now Kirby plays [http://www.dickinson.edu/magazine/article.cfm?article=115 cricket at Dickinson]. We use the word “plays” only in the loosest sense.
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| <big><big>Amnesty International</big></big>
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| Kirby was a member of [http://www.amnesty.org/ Amnesty International] for his final year in high school and joined the chapter that is active at Dickinson. He likes the ideas behind the organization and has found that it is a good way to meet people who have similar ideas and mindsets.
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| <big><big>Religious Life</big></big>
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| Kirby has gone to church nearly ever Sunday of his entire life with few exceptions. For most of his life, this meant attending services at [http://flemingtonbaptist.org/ Flemington Baptist Church] For the four years of high school, Kirby was active in his church’s youth group, Baptist Youth Fellowship, which included serving as vice president and president in his junior and senior years respectively. Since coming to Dickinson, Kirby has joined the [http://www.interfaithalliance.org/site/pp.asp?c=jkLSJ6MRKvH&b=2882853 Interfaith club], a club designed to help members learn more about the religions of the world, and to help strengthen ties between those religions. Kirby doesn’t know exactly how he feels about his religion, but, regardless, it has and will continue to be an important piece of his life.
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