Our Experiences

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Samples from Service Reflections

Sample from Pre-Service Reflection

Brian's Pre-Service Reflection:

C-PARC is a group which helps many aspects of the community, not only the disabled community. Their goal is to mitigate circumstances that have caused other people’s lives to be more difficult. The various facets of C-PARC include adult day-care, child day-care, and help with mentally deficient individuals. As a non-profit organization it was started by families to enable mentally retarded children to stay at home, instead of being institutionalized. Currently C-PARC has group homes, as well as homes for independent people. In addition to living accommodations, C-PARC helps its members find competitive occupations, or will employ members in a factory that they run. The experience that this service learning entails is valuable for many reasons. For instance I will see how people are affected by the various disabilities that have caused them to live apart from “normal” society. It is a chance to understand the people who live in our community yet are treated as if they do not. In this age of political correctness, words hold all the power. With these service learning opportunities we as the next generation have a chance to re-define the words which have crept into our vernacular such as mentally impaired.

-Brian Wallen

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Excerpts from Service Learning Journals

Rachael's Group Home Experience:

With this experience, I was able to see more of an interaction between the roommates and so was able to get a better feeling of their different personalities. One woman seemed very sarcastic and liked to tell jokes, while the other two women seemed to like to tease her. They all were very interested in each other’s lives and held conversations similar to the ones that I have with my friends. This suprised me because as a cultural assumption, I thought people with disabilites did not really have personalities, as if that was beyond their capabilities. I was also suprised because all of the women that I have talked to, say they have a boyfriend. At first I assumed that meant someone that they hang out with on a daily basis, hold hands and go on dates with, etc. but now I think their idea of a boyfriend is a male who they see a few times a year. It is like a young child, who mimics what her parents do and so call a guy friend her “boyfriend” because that is what society decides is normal. These women watch tv and movies and look at magazines and see what they “should” be doing and so because of this, ask one of their guy friends to be their boyfriend. But on the other hand, maybe they do become more intimate when they are with one another. I also felt that this group of people was less isolated and in a happier atmosphere and so I felt less depressed for them. They seemed to be more competent and communicative. I was able to carry better conversations with them than with the people that lived in the previous group home. However, it was still a conversation that I would have with a young child. Even though we could discuss different topics, they were not able to transgress from what they had experienced or how they were feeling. It was not like we were trying to talk about abstract ideas, but if I tried to talk about something in my life, I could tell they were not listening and then for example, if I made a comment about my boyfriend, they would not ask a question about him to me, they would either say something totally irrelevant or a response about their own boyfriend. Through this visit, I was able to view people with disabilities, more as an individual with a distinct personality. I also realized that a lot of their interests are the same as mine, because of the influences of society. Those interests are merely on a different level of understanding and maturity.

-Rachael Osberger 3/27/05 Group Home Visit

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Eric's Group Home Experience:

When I realized that we were going to the same group home we visited last time I was a little worried because as hard as conversation is sometimes, already having exhausted some issues would only make it harder. Fortunately it turned out that this wasn’t the case. I really enjoyed our talk with Stacey and Rachel. It flowed pretty smoothly and there were hardly any of the awkward pauses that seem to happen often. I thought it was interesting that at one point Rachel expressed her annoyance over Stacey repeating things she had said before and which were completely off topic. It was rather annoying I admit and I may have done something similar in a conversation with someone without a mental disability, but just didn’t feel right saying anything in this case. Spending time with Shelly drove home the fact that those with mental disabilities are all unique persons with different personalities just like everyone else, which I’ll admit to forgetting. While most residents, especially Stacey seemed really excited that we were visiting, Shelly seemed like she couldn’t care less. Her attitude once again was something along the lines of “you can come in and talk to me if you want but I’m not going to change how I spend my time in any way. I think I liked that though, some of the residents seem like little kids so often, but Shelly can and will do her own thing. It was a bit of refreshing independence.

-Eric Barth, Group Home 4/11/2005

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Brian's Cluster Apt Experience:

The third trip to C-Parc was a visit to the cluster home. In the home were 6 people that were members of the C-Parc program. Each person had a different level of functioning, and all lived together. When we first arrived the members of the group home were just arriving home from work. As each entered the house, myself and Eric followed. We entered the house with our host for the day, and he explained to us the function of the group home, as well as introducing us to each member of the house. Following a brief orientation we were given a tour of the house, both upstairs, and downstairs. The members were mostly relaxing since they had all come home from work. We were allowed the privelage of wlaking the halls, and having personal conversations with each house member. The first person was not much older than ourselves, and had just come to the system. He was engaged in a video game, but explained to us his hobbies, and his work assignments. The second room we entered belonged to a person who had been a long tenured house mate. This person was just relaxing and watching a TV show, so after a brief conversation it became obvious that their attention was in other places. Our next meeting was by far the longest. We had an engaging conversation concerning the person’s time with C-Parc, their family, their work, and any aspect of their life they shared with us. The other two members were older people, and while one napped, the other was full of jokes mostly. We did not get to have a very good conversation because of the joking manner. At this point, it was dinner time in the house, as well as time to leave. On the way out we saw one more person who actually had an independent room. We had not seen this room at first, but were able to engage in a high level of conversation with the tenant. It was a lively conversation concerning their goals, and what they had done to this point. The good-bye was a very god ending to our visit as each person gave us some departing words.

-Brian Wallen Cluster Home Visit 4/4/2005

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Diana's North Street Apt Experience:

This experience was definitely different from the last two. The people we met at the North St Apartments were so much more “with it” so to speak. We could carry on extensive conversations with him about serious topics. For example, when we met the first woman M she was a riot. She had a great sense of humor and could answer everything we asked. This was a big difference from all the other members of CPARC that we have met. M is attending this religious seminar in Carlisle during this month and that was kind of disturbing to hear about. The seminar leader talks about armaggedon and the presence of the beast etc. But M seems to be so convinced that what he says is true and she is an avid bible reader. While I was disturbed at the ideas that this man is preaching, the idea of religion in general does seem to help M. It gives her something to spend time on and look forward to. M also told me she has an ex husband, which surprised me because I don’t tend to think of people with mental retardation as marrying. Overall M was a lot of fun to be around and I really enjoyed her company, which is the first time I can say this about my CPARC experiences. R was a little harder to understand and we didn’t talk with him for very long, but the woman C was also a good conversationalist. She wasn’t quite as chatty as M, but I was impressed with how nice and at home her apartment felt. She has an artistic flare and she also loves plants. She seemed very self sufficient because we met her when she had just come back from the grocery store. I was impressed at her generosity because the woman from CPARC M who picked us up was complementing C’s dish towels and C offered to give her one. C seemed like a genuinely good hearted person and she also talked about religion, which I found interesting. The role of religion really seems to play a big part in these women’s lives. The last woman we met D was a little more difficult to understand and her apartment smelled awful. I felt bad judging her, but it was actually hard to be in the room because of the odor. She did seem friendly, but she didn’t seem quite as self sufficient and talkative as the other tenants we had met. I was happy to leave her apartment I have to say. Overall, I was just extremely impressed by the women who work with these people M and E. They are just such kind hearted, patient people and I just could never imagine doing what they do. M has been with CPARC 20 years which seemed amazing to me. And E just works here as a part time job on top of her full time job because she likes it so much. I was touched by their kindness actually.

-Diana Wollkind 4/3/05 North St Apartments

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Eric's Cluster Apt Experience:

The problems the people who utilize CPARC face in “normative” society are those similar to the problems the elderly face. People tend to see them without really seeing them. In other words, people will notice that they are in public, but not openly acknowlege their presence. People tend to treat them as a nuisance instead of an active part of society. Because they look, speak and behave differently from what is expected, the clients of CPARC have difficulty blending in to “normative” society. They have problems performing the most basic of activities, such as making dinner and remembering to take their medecine or to taking a walk without a cane or wheelchair. Unfortuntately, this makes them conspicuous enough in public for people to take notice and then pretend that they are not there.

I realized a day or two after my experience that while I was at the apartments, I had been like just about every character Lionel meets in Motherless Brooklyn: I assumed that those with disabilities are less intelligent or aware than they actually are and was made uncomfortable by unexpected behavior. Prior to being introduced to Beth, Runner informed me that she likes to know other peoples business and asks incredibly personal questions. The staff are trying to teach her to not ask these kinds of questions and so he asked me to not answer anything that was too personal for me. After we spent some time together with Beth, Runner left the room to shovel the sidewalk and reminded Beth several times as he left to not ask prying questions. During one, he subtly winked and nodded at me, I believe with the intention of making sure I understood not to answer her questions. I assumed she didn’t notice. But as Runner turned to walk out, she stopped him and asked what he was up to. He played innocent, but Beth said she saw him wink at me and wanted to know why. I had assumed she had missed the wink and just wasn’t capable of noticing or interpreting it. It took me by surprise and the 15 minutes or so I spend with Carol afterwards were the most awkward of the day.

-Eric Barth, Cluster Apartments 3/6/2005

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Samples from Post-Service Reflections

Brian's Post-Service Reflection:

In the short time I spent at C-PARC, we were unable to truly impact the organization. The actual position filled by the students was very convoluted. I was not a volunteer, nor was I an observer. My time was spent as a new friend. The employees of C-PARC did not allot any actual responsibilities to us, but we also were not silent. The most rewarding moment was when one member gave me a hug after the second visit to the group home. It was amazing that the person had built enough confidence in me in order to show this level of intimacy. We as a society frown upon this, yet we should really embrace it. My position within the organization was well spent, and I went from a stranger in their house to a welcomed friend. People whom are cognitive impaired face many difficulties in “normative” society. Chores that seem mundane to the “normative” society are indeed an uphill battle to the people of C-PARC. A big goal for all members is to learn money denominations in order to live a more independent life. Balancing checkbooks is another important ritual that must be completed. One set-back that cognitively impaired peoples may face is a lack of reading skills. These people are unable to read for themselves, and thus must rely on someone else’s eyes. To me, this is a very scary thought, yet the members of C-PARC are able to be successful despite their cognitive abilities.

-Brian Wallen

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Diana's Post-Service Reflection:

My understanding of the types of impairments I was exposed to at CPARC is limited. I know that all the people I met have mental retardation. However, there are varying degrees of mental retardation. I learned that the different levels of retardation are based on the person’s IQ level. For example, the people with higher IQ’s are considered less retarded than the people with lower IQ’s. This seems rather obvious, but I hadn’t realized that there were varying degrees of mental retardation until I volunteered at CPARC. In fact, each different CPARC program pertains to varying levels of disability. For example, the people with the highest level of mental retardation live in the group home at CPARC, the people who are slightly less disabled live in the cluster appartments, and then the people who have more mild forms of mental retardation live in the North St. Apartments.

CPARC is such a beneficial agency because it gives so many opportunities to people with mental retardation. Each establishment I visited was filled with employees who seem to genuinely love working with people in need. The first place I visited was the cluster apartment complex, where people live in their own apartments, but have staff members right down the hall at all times. This is such a great option for people with milder forms of mental retardation because they can have the independence and agency in their own lives, but don’t have to worry about emergencies arising or becoming lonely because an employee is always close by. I feel that this is a great place for these people because it offers independence, while still providing the option of care when necessary. The group home is for people with a higher need for assistance than the cluster apartment tenants. I think the group home is incredible for these people because they live in a beautiful house, each person has her own room, and meals are made for them every day by an employee. The employees at the group home really seem to consider all the people part of a family. In the living room, there are portraits of each person who lives in the house. The home gives the people the sense of having a family, and they all seem to get along well and genuinely care about each other. The final CPARC establishment that I visited also seems full of positive opportunities for the people with disability. The North St. Apartments are for people who can pretty much function on their own, but need assistance from time to time. These apartments are very nice and spacious and the people seem to be able to lead very independent lives, handling their own groceries and small errands for the most part. They just need help getting rides places and with information they receive in the mail and things of that nature. The North St. Apartments are beneficial because they allow people to live among people without mental retardation and to do most things themselves instead of relying on other people. The CPARC organizations that I visited seem quite beneficial to the people involved because they provide them with opportunities they wouldn’t ordinarily be able to have.

I am not sure how much I personally impacted the people who utilize CPARC. I like to think that the people I met were happy to have someone to talk to and share their interests with. However, each week I went to a different organization with different people involved. I went to the Group Home twice, and the second time I don’t think that the women I had met two weeks ago still remembered me. I guess it doesn’t matter that they didn’t remember me; what matters is that they enjoyed my company. I do think everyone I met seemed excited to share parts of their lives to a stranger. They seemed thrilled to have someone take an interest in their lives and often showed us photo albums, paintings they had completed, and their favorite movies or stuffed animals. I do not think that I personally had a huge impact on these people, but the people did seem to appreciate having someone to talk to about themselves. In other words, I think the way I impacted these people was simply by being there, listening, and asking questions about their lives.

The problems the people who utilize CPARC face in “normative” society were never really addressed during my CPARC visits. I assume, however, that it is more difficult for them to be understood when they step outside of the CPARC establishments. I’m sure they have faced ridicule and mockery from certain people in “normative” society. For example, many of the people who utilize CPARC work at Walmart or at Dickinson College. I’m sure that in their job settings, there are times when they feel uncomfortable and face ill treatment. None of the people I met ever mentioned anything like this. However, when I was watching Spiderman with the members of the group home during my last visit, a couple of them expressed concern and sadness when Tobey Maguire’s character is being made fun of at the beginning of the movie. I didn’t make this link until now, but it could be that they identified with his character because of past experiences they’ve had with “normative society.”

My experience at CPARC connects to my work in class because my impression of mental retardation was very different from what it actually turned out to be like. I was definitely guilty of thinking that all people with mental retardation have difficulty speaking and can’t carry on conversations. While some of the people who utilize CPARC did exhibit some of these qualities I had imagined, for the most part my assumptions were wrong. Not only did I learn that there are so many varying degrees of mental retardation, but I also learned that it was possible to relate to people with mental retardation. Each person has her own distinct personality independent of the disability. They are not their disability in other words, like we have discussed in class. Rather, mental retardation is one aspect of their personalities, but not their entire beings. It was good for me to meet so many different people because it gave me the opportunity to realize that everyone had different senses of humor, past experiences, likes and dislikes, and so forth. Just as foreigners who come to our country are often grouped together as “French” or “Puerto Rican,” mentally retarded people are also grouped together in an all encompassing group. From my experiences at CPARC, I learned that our construction of disability in society is very skewed and unsettling.

-Diana Wollkind