Kirby Kernan

Because the game was created in 1991, there is no way that Kirby's mother could have anticipated the way in which her maiden name, and the name she gave her son, would be stolen by Nintendo a mere three years after his birth. This terrible deed would result in the mental anguish of a young man who would fight the name for years- until his self-esteem rose to the point at which he could admit to himself that pink did not, in fact, HAVE to be a pansy color. For these things, Nintendo Shall be blamed and Melissa Kernan shall be forgiven. However, in the years since Kirby's birth, it HAS been proven that Melissa named him knowing full well that Kirby was also the name of a popular brand of vacuum cleaner. Since this has failed to amuse only a handful of adults who have come into his life, she shall be condemned to bear a similarly connected name in her next life. Maybe it will be Kenmore, or Swiffer. Kirby would like that.